Lamentations for the Storm

Oh Lord, leave me not unto this fate. Let me not buckle under the winds that push my mind, the pain that stabs my heart and the burden which troubles my soul. Leave me not to the dark thoughts that plague from my flesh or the dark desires form the old man. Leave me not to drown in the unsettling sea of the world and the enemies attacks. Lord, let me not break, let me not fall, let me remember all that you spoke to me, taught me, from your word. Let me rely on you, let me worry not. Lord, fill me with peace, the peace of your will. Let me rely on you and not on people, on the creator and not the creation. Teach me patience Lord, teach me trust and faith, teach me to love you even more and to love like you. Lord keep me and have me need all strength form you. Not form my own self, my friends or anything else but from you.

Mark 4: 39-40: ³⁹He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, "Quiet! Be still!" Then the wind died down and it was completely calm.

⁴⁰He said to his disciples, "Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?"

An Adults answer to life

Lately I have been antsy and concerned about my future, specifically about my romantic future. This is from seeing the experiences of people around me. Their relationships, interactions, conversations, plans, dreams, wants, desires,etc. Well since God knows who this will be I decided to pay HIm a visit and take it up with him. I yelled, stomped my foot and complained. "It's not fair!", I said. "I need a comforter! Someone to be with because i am lonely and have all of these issues!" God heard my cry and offered his rebuttal. Why was I so concerned with this? Didn't I know he had a plan? A time for everything? Why was I concerning myself so much with what I saw around me and assumed I needed or wanted it when God has a plan, His will for me? All that I see? Its what he has for that person. Everyone is different.

This was one of many doses of reality I have been getting as of late. With everything that has been happening I've been learning. Learning that being an adult means tough decisions, nasty situations, and hardships. Its a part of life but the adult thing to do? Look to God for comfort, for shelter, for His will and strength for we are weak. You can't always get what you want but get what God wants you to get and to have and to need. I suppose we should learn what the meaning of life is. I discovered it in a book. Want to know what it is? Well I will tell you.

Matthew 22:37-39:³⁷Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' ³⁸This is the first and greatest commandment. ³⁹And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'

Mountains

Because of your little faith. For truly I tell you, if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move; and nothing will be impossible for you." Matthew 17:19-20

I got mountains. Boy, let me tell you I got mountains. Uncertainty in school, in life, money issues, debt, sickness, worry, lack of faith and so much more. Boy do I got mountains. But, despite that, all of the worries, I always get through it. Maybe you have a mountain? Worry, sickness, family issue. We see the here, and now. But we never look to the tomorrow. Sure, Jesus said not to worry, o course but I am not telling you to worry about tomorrow, or the future. No, I am saying look to the end of the storm. Look to where God leads you, because sure, man may have your back at times, but God always has your back, even when it doesn't seem like it.

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:33-34

This is a response from my Brother in Christ George (as I post these on my facebook as well) on this.

Perspective is everything. What lens we are interpreting reality in is very important. I just want to add a few points to your note.

1.) perspective
We all have mountains. Sometimes pretty big ones that seems so impossible to cross over. But how we view these mountains, our perspective, is important. I think of how Paul or Jesus looked at their mountains. Hebrews 12:1-2 talks about the joy set before Jesus. Jesus acknowledged his pain but didn't focus on it. True happiness was set before him, at what his suffering would accomplish. It was not based on momentary circumstances. He kept his focus on God. Paul also did the same. The tell him he's going go die if he goes to Jerusalem but he says he's willing to die for Christ. He wasn't focused on his pain because he knew a greater good would come from it and he knew that it didn't make Jesus' Death on the cross skip over him. The promise of new life was his through faith no matter what pain or suffering he was enduring.

2. They both acknowledged their pain
I think of Paul in 2 Cor 12 with the thorn in his flesh. He prays for God to take it away 3 times. He didn't just sweep it under the rug even though he had a good perspective on it as shown above. Same with Jesus in the garden. He asks God if there is another way. At that time he didn't want to suffer the way he knew he was going to. He brings that to God. Keep a healthy biblical perspective on suffering yes, but dint ignore or sweep the problems under the rug either.

3. Last point. Realize that life is all about the glory of God. ThAts the point of everything. 1 Cor 10:31 and Philippians 2 talks about that. It's all for him. So God is going to do whatever brings him the most glory but also going to work it out for our good as Romans 8 says. So the rest of Jesus' prayer is not my will be done but yours. He understood the two points made in three and was willing to endure what ever would accomplish those.

The Tempter Came to Him

The title of this note is from when Christ is to be tempted by Satan in the gospel of Matthew in chapter 4. How often have you had this (assuming you have read the account of Christ's temptation) happen? To be tempted. Everyone feels it. Consider taking something while no one is looking, cheating off of the person next to you, or any of the other things we struggle with. Now stop for a moment and consider this. Some people may believe that Christ simply swatted away Satan as if he was some annoying peon but consider this: what if he didn't? What if, for a moment his inner self battled with the temptation? What if he yearned for it? I mean, he knew his Father's plan, and who would want to go through with it? He was going to die and yet here was a sort of way out of it, to rule mankind, their kingdoms by force. To have it all. But he didn't. Though he was faced with something for himself, he knew he had to do what he had to do to glorify His Father. He knew how to save mankind, he knew that His kingdom would last eternally as man's crumbled to ruin. He overcame this temptation. We, as humans, are not so lucky. How often are we tempted and commit the sin? Like Christ (in a minor case compared to Him) we have our flesh, and the Holy Spirit do battle in us. Now think about this, who wins? When we look at what is tempting us who do we give into. Sure we aren’t promised the riches of the world but that doesn’t mean we aren't promised what we consider to be RICHES in OUR own world. We are promised what pertains to us. A better grade if we cheat, a better tv if we steal it, so on and so forth. How scary is it that he comes to us and knows us so well? Like he has a plan. So crafty an enemy! Like he knows how to pick us off. I'll admit I more often than not give in. There are those rare moments when I snap out of the want for myself and remember what God would have me do. Christ doesn't give us anything we can't handle. I can overcome this. Though it isn't by MY strength but GOD'S strength. To be honest most times when I sin, I do it willingly. I just don't want to deal with it. The tempting is annoying. So why not just do it right? WRONG! We should rely on Christ's strength. I know I need to fix this and I am trying but it is hard, at least to me. I suppose its one of those things isn't it? Everyone has a struggle, a certain temptation. We need Christ's strength to overcome it. Who am I to try and conquer myself without the strength of the one who made me? Then like in the end we can understand those words.

And Satan departed from Him.

Not only God's strength has been given to us but something else too. Brother's and Sister's. A Pastor, a leader, places of counseling and help. God has placed for us way of leaving the temptation. Feeling tempted? Try God and his word and speaking to a friend. SOmeone to keep you accountable. Seek someone's advice because in those time I always felt alone but I wasn't. And you are not alone either.

Doomed for His friends- it had to be for the pardon
And delivery from misery of kids who speak wickedly
Sinfully, inwardly slick with the iniquity-Shai Linne "Were you there?"

Life: It happens

There are plenty of things that we want and plan in life. How does the usual plan go? We graduate high school, go to college and spend four years working on a degree deciding what we want to do, graduate again and go one to continuation school, then we meet the girl or boy f our dreams, get married, have an awesome job and live happily ever after. Right? Wrong. Four years in college turns into 5 when you fail some classes, you get rejected from that graduate school, and the boy or girl of your dreams breaks your heart. Not quite what you planned huh? So now you're sitting there, head in your hands wondering where you went wrong? Things do not go as planned. They never do. Why? It makes no sense right? It should be going all okay. Well that's true if we were on our own time. But we are on God's. We eventually get there the problem is its not the way WE want it. It was never my intention of failing an entire semester of classes except one and having to spend so much time retaking them but it happened and I didn't like it and its only now that I realize that God is control and he'll get us there to our dreams but in a different way than what we planned. We have to go through the bumpy parts in life, the refining fires that burn us, melt us and shape us as we go through them. Of course as we do we whine because its not going our way and the journey is longer than what we wanted but as we go along we learn things. Life doesn't stop once we finish everything we had planned. Life continues on it doesn't stop. Finished school? Now its time to look for work. What can;t find a job in your field. But hey you're married so that is a happily ever after right? Right up until the bills and crying pooping machines come ( referencing babies). Life isn't a cake walk. But after some tike when we get there through the journey God put us on, we'll look back when we are much more mature and understand everything that happened. It takes time and its hard and doesn't always make sense. Those are the times when we have to be careful or we'll want to give up. I've had my share of times where I have wanted to. Its not fun but in the end are we not always okay? To be honest its hard sometimes even when knowing it'll all be okay in the end. Because they way you feel during those times is never fun, but despite that we have to be strong and not give give up.

Cut off your tongue

"With a tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring?" James 3:9-11

Okay. So. That tongue of yours. What has come from it lately? I noticed what came from mine as of late and i had to slap my forehead as i remembered what was just discussed in church. That was only moments ago before writing this note. Okay I was going for something profound but that isn't happening so I am just going to say it now. We should watch what we say. Honestly I don't know how many times I have caught myself now talking about people. Only hours ago praising God. Yeah I am guilty of this and I am not putting anyone in specific on blast cause to be honest we all do or have done it. Seriously though I know I need to make a conscious effort to stop and try at least to think about what I am going to say. Try and tame that tongue because i think there are positive and negative ways of talking about people. Negative is put downs, rumors and such and yes cursing those people though maybe not even in the sense you're thinking of. Positive is talking about a person in a god light or even discussing what may be wrong in their lives BUT praying for them. Let's not tear down with the same tongue that praises God, no matter how much our blood may boil.

Awake and Alive

Life. Its hard. It sucks. To be honest I feel so tired. Tired in a way that no one should feel. Its inside and feels heavy. I want to sleep this life away. Stay inside, so nothing can hurt me. Do what God want me to do from a safe corner. But its not like that. I am so tired. Tired of people, trials, emotions. Despite wanting to, I can't. My spirit will not let me. I am drawn in to God. I am changing. I want to dive in more and more. Because despite everything, God is the only one. No answer anywhere else. Not in a bottle, not in people, not in ANYTHING. BUT. HIM. Life should be easy, not like this. But it is not. Despite that we have his love. He holds us, cradles us, like a Father does. He whispers to us that everything will be alright. I sometimes think the only reason I do these things is for Heaven and not to suffer. But despite that, I feel pulled in by my Spirit. It leads me because it knows. I know he wants me to be the person i need to be. Trust Him, even when all seems lost. If He started it, he will finish it. We know and He will have us believe. I pray for encouragement, for strength, renewing of Spirit and for you to no longer be discouraged. We all may not understand but God is always doing His will in our lives.

Life: It Happens

There are plenty of things that we want and plan in life. How does the usual plan go? We graduate high school, go to college and spend four years working on a degree deciding what we want to do, graduate again and go one to continuation school, then we meet the girl or boy f our dreams, get married, have an awesome job and live happily ever after. Right? Wrong. Four years in college turns into 5 when you fail some classes, you get rejected from that graduate school, and the boy or girl of your dreams breaks your heart. Not quite what you planned huh? So now you're sitting there, head in your hands wondering where you went wrong? Things do not go as planned. They never do. Why? It makes no sense right? It should be going all okay. Well that's true if we were on our own time. But we are on God's. We eventually get there the problem is its not the way WE want it. It was never my intention of failing an entire semester of classes except one and having to spend so much time retaking them but it happened and I didn't like it and its only now that I realize that God is control and he'll get us there to our dreams but in a different way than what we planned. We have to go through the bumpy parts in life, the refining fires that burn us, melt us and shape us as we go through them. Of course as we do we whine because its not going our way and the journey is longer than what we wanted but as we go along we learn things. Life doesn't stop once we finish everything we had planned. Life continues on it doesn't stop. Finished school? Now its time to look for work. What can;t find a job in your field. But hey you're married so that is a happily ever after right? Right up until the bills and crying pooping machines come ( referencing babies). Life isn't a cake walk. But after some tike when we get there through the journey God put us on, we'll look back when we are much more mature and understand everything that happened. It takes time and its hard and doesn't always make sense. Those are the times when we have to be careful or we'll want to give up. I've had my share of times where I have wanted to. Its not fun but in the end are we not always okay? To be honest its hard sometimes even when knowing it'll all be okay in the end. Because they way you feel during those times is never fun, but despite that we have to be strong and not give give up.

"Man Plans, God laughs."

Psalm 27:14- Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.

And this was a comment a good friend and brother in the Lord wrote in response:

I agree with what you're saying here. So many times I've made my own plans, almost as if to say to God, "Ok, here's what I'm going to do, now please bless me in this endeavor." And then I wonder why everything falls apart and why God has "abandoned" me... But after taking a step back, it becomes easy to see that it wasn't God, but me who in fact abandoned God's plan for my life by trying to take control from him and blaze my own path. This never works, and if it does somehow not end in failure, then you're not going to be as happy as you could have been and there are going to be regrets as you realize that you aren't living your life to the fullest extent as you could have if you had just given God the controls and followed his lead. Waiting on God and his guidance is so important. Too often we are so used to getting everything in life right away, immediate gratification, fast food, rush delivery, etc. Then when we take this kind of mindset and try to apply the same rules to how God works in our life, and we open ourselves up for disappointment and frustration as we find out that God's timing is not our own. All due to as Steven put it, "the pest that is this fallen world." If we can manage to remold our mindset from "Give it to me now!" (like the girl from Willy Wonka) and change it to "Ok God, I'll wait for you to lead me", we can remove some of that stress in our lives. Not to say that we still won't have stress, there will always be trials and struggle as we are refined during the process, and it hurts! That's what fire does, but the end product is well worth the wait, being glorified like Christ and living our lives for his glory. Its a matter of putting God first in our lives and being patient for his guidance in "his" timing not ours, something much easier said than done!
But I encourage you Robert, and everyone else, when life knocks you back square on your butt, don't just sit there in a daze, but get up, shake the dust off your clothes, and look back at your life, at the choices you have made, and ask God to show you why this all has happened, sometimes is painfully obvious, other times its not, but there is always a reason.
Persevere in his will, be patient in his timing, and be open to his guiding.
Ok, enough blabbing from me, this is Robert's note, not mine =P

Complete Surrender

So I made a comment before about wanting someone to love me, to help me pick up the pieces. Let me tell you that I am expecting to be whole, free, and completely happy when I am married. But I have completely missed some points. First off my fulfillment isn't coming from being married, having a wife or a perfect relationship. My fulfillment is coming from God. Let me clarify some things. I have emotional issues, I suffer form depression and other things that I can't really describe. Its a issue yes and I have been focusing on having these issues fixed in some one when I am married, when I fall and understand love. But that's not the answer, the answer is God. There is no one I can rely on but Him to fix me. Funny thing is I knew this before, realizing that if I gave everything that I was including the bad that I had to God he'd fix me but I was scared. I held onto the pain, depression and everything so long that i became a part of me. If God did fix me I have zero clue what I'd do. This over came me. So I pulled back instead of giving in, even now as I write this I feel the tug and the pull and i have no clue how to give in and let it go and consume me. So if now I can't give in as a single person, how can I when I am married? I don't think I can. I fear of course if that means "hey I'll be single for life" but I don't know if that is the case or if God will provide someone who will be a helper with me and my want to go into ministry. The want for the expectations, the wants emotionally, and everything else can't be met by someone and I'll only get disappointed in the end.

My heart and my soul, I give You control Consume me from the inside out Lord Let justice and praise, become my embrace To love You from the inside out

Hillsong United, from the inside out

Read, Consider, Do.

what if I did not have control over the content of my page?
-Instead I craft my digital life as I want it known
what if my pictures had me at my worst moments?
-Instead I am the one in front and behind the camera
what if my wall was my heart externalized for the world to see?
-Instead I post trivialities, hide deficiencies, and avoid eternal verities
what if my words spoken in secret or under-breath could not hide in this virtual world?
what if my you saw a list of my enemies?
what if my list of friends, were only those I treated as friends?

what if, my what ifs, were not what ifs?

second part

Lust pt. 2: They are watching and they’re not impressed
Now I am directing this next here to the guys because let’s face it we have some of the worst things about us. Anyway, men, let’s look at this scenario for a second. You see a very attractive woman while out one day and you decide she is worth more than a glance and begin to stare. Now stop right there and listen: switch places. Now imagine yourself in her shoes. How does it feel, to have a bunch of guys looking at you, staring at you? Silently judging you and making comments in their minds, that is no where near appropriate. How does it feel? Not very good I would imagine. Let’s switch back now. How do you feel as a man, a man of God I should remind you, who is looking at his creation, your sister I might add like that. Not as appealing is it now is it? The worst part is the world is okay with us doing this and approves wholeheartedly. I’m reminded of something that my new testament Professor told us. To me it was a sort of reprimanding. He had said to the women of the class that “any man who cannot keep his eyes focused and doesn’t let them wander doesn’t deserve your time”. Now at first you may be like “well there are people everyone and my attention span shrinks”. Well that would work if that were what he was talking about. That’s right guys if you cannot stay focused on her eyes she will see you as not worth her time. Also don’t think you are getting away with it, you’re not. Women notice, and they are not impressed by our “subtlety”. We’ve been caught red handed. Now ask yourself how many women have you done this too? Now imagine if they all knew what you wee so subtly doing but never called you on it. How their opinion of you must be! Luckily we have a great mentor on our side: Jesus Christ

First part

Okay so before we begin there are a few things to go over. First off much of this comes from Joshua Harris’ book, “I Kissed Dating Good-Bye” which is really an incredible book, and is (if you interested) in the library and I also have a copy as well though it will be on loan until further notice. Personally I want to give most of the credit to him since if I didn’t read it I’d never thought of writing on what I am going to write on. Second I give the most credit and Glory to God for inspiring me to write and what to write. Don’t give me praise or applause I just wrote it, but wouldn’t have without either element, the most important being God. I would also like to give credit and thanks to Mary Ann for giving me the book, which led to me reading which, God used for me to write this. I don’t target singles. I don’t target couples. I don’t target those who are married, getting married or just sitting in their room contemplating what it’s all about. I write for whoever will read. So please read and hopefully enjoy. If you have comments, concerns, suggestions or challenges to pistols at dawn there is a neat little comment box on the bottom so please feel free to write what you will and be brutally honest please. Also I apologize in advance for offending anyone. Also I have broken this into many segments so there will be many parts of this note coming so be prepared. If there is anything else please feel free to tell me if I missed anything. Thank you.
Lust: Steps to destruction and running to freedom
Right off the bat we go into something that everyone deals with: Lust. Let me start by saying I am not being judgmental on anyone, because I am just as guilty as the next guy or girl who has had lusted and don’t count myself out. It’s a struggle that everyone has an issue with lust though men are more focused on when it comes to lust but that doesn’t disqualify women. There is a part in the book that discussed lust, temptation and where it starts and to convey this point they use one of the most prominent figures in the Bible: King David. This was a man after God’s own heart and who despite this went on to become an adulterer and murderer. Worst of all this wasn’t done in one leap but several steps that led David to this point in his life. Now you may ask yourself where this all started going downhill for David right? Could it be when he saw her, when he brought her over and slept with her, when he had first kissed her? Or could it have been when most kings were with their armies this time of the year and he wasn’t? Lust, temptation, its all a process and it begins with a decision we make. Sometimes a situation arises or we put ourselves there in a situation. Harris describes it beginning with David setting himself up, starting with him choosing to stay behind and not go with his army, leading him to be pacing on the roof and looking across and seeing her. David saw her, just a glance at first. A glance turned into a stare, a stare into a thought, a thought into wanting and bingo he was trapped and was taking steps rapidly to his ruin. The story of David shows us how fast a person can just descend down by taking steps and it seems almost hopeless for us but there is another person in the Old Testament we can look to: Joseph. We all remember the story of Joseph, the boy sold by his own brothers into slavery eventually coming to the house of an important Egyptian. It what happens here that is the subject of our attention.

Now Joseph was well-built and handsome, 7 and after a while his master's wife took notice of Joseph and said, "Come to bed with me!"
8 But he refused. "With me in charge," he told her, "my master does not concern himself with anything in the house; everything he owns he has entrusted to my care. 9 No one is greater in this house than I am. My master has withheld nothing from me except you, because you are his wife. How then could I do such a wicked thing and sin against God?" 10 And though she spoke to Joseph day after day, he refused to go to bed with her or even be with her.
11 One day he went into the house to attend to his duties, and none of the household servants was inside. 12 She caught him by his cloak and said, "Come to bed with me!" But he left his cloak in her hand and ran out of the house.
Genesis 39:6-12
Now I don’t know this for a fact but I could imagine that Joseph’s boss’ wife was probably very beautiful and despite that what did Joseph do? That boy ran like there was no tomorrow, even leaving behind his own clothes when she grabbed at him. I think we should take both examples to heart though despite the difference in circumstances. David eventually repented but not before suffering for what he had done and he still served God and Joseph ran in the face of temptation. Joseph could have gotten away with it, the wife was approaching him, no one would know. But Joseph knew that God would know and that God didn’t want him to do such a thing. Joseph chose the right steps and even though David at first didn’t he did fix his steps eventually. We should take lessons form David and Joseph to prevent ourselves from stepping into sin, temptation and lust. Stop and think about how often have you said to yourself “I should have known better”, or “now that I look back I could have stopped myself”. It happens to everyone. Happened to me more times than I can count but we should learn form what happens and change before it too late. We need a repenting heart. So clip lust before it can spring up into something more. Because I don’t care what it is, but look away! Now I am not saying its easy, by no means is it, it takes time, patience, obedience and most of all God.

Its who you know

I noticed something a few weeks ago. In the midst of one of my hours of depression and self-loathing I realized something. As I sat and wondered what everyone else was doing as I was bored I felt depressed for the fact that I felt alone. Then I realized something. I rely on people far too much and not enough on God. Why? Well I found that it was more so that I interact with people on a daily basis and have been my whole life. Well don't I interact with God on a daily basis too? Well whom do we see, become emotionally attached to and focus our time, energy and emotions on most of the time? People. Day in and day out, but then how much do we give to God? There's church on Sunday, chapels at our schools if we have them there, there's Wednesday night church, and any ministry we're involved in. So what's wrong then with us if we do we all of this and yet it seems we put all our person in people. Some may make the case that yes, we do spend our time face to face with people all day and that people surround us daily. So better interaction on a physical level with people? Okay but isn't God always with us? I mean literally with us. In our sleeping, when we're awake, standing in line for food, when watching a movie etc. So what is the difference? What's more how often has God hurt you compared to people? God hasn't told you "It's not you its me" and left or told you about how sorry He was he did that to you and that it'll never happen again or that that person meant nothing to them and it was all a mistake. People do though. How often do we strive to get a persons attention just to be able to date them and have a relationship when Christ has a love deeper than any one person can give us. How often do we go out of our way to do something for a friend that means so much to us we'll do anything at the drop of a pin but when Christ asks us we give any and every excuse in the book to get out of it? What is it about us? I fear because I know more of people than I do about God, my creator. I have spent so much effort, time, tears and pain for people but how much for God? Put it on some scales and weigh it, see what it comes to. Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with that for people, but do we give the same attention of ourselves, basically our being to God? So what do we do? Spend more time in the word, go to church so much we live there, or forsake people and live in solitude devoting our day to God? To be honest I don't know. I don't have an answer. If I did it'd be my answer not yours, right?