Awake and Alive

Life. Its hard. It sucks. To be honest I feel so tired. Tired in a way that no one should feel. Its inside and feels heavy. I want to sleep this life away. Stay inside, so nothing can hurt me. Do what God want me to do from a safe corner. But its not like that. I am so tired. Tired of people, trials, emotions. Despite wanting to, I can't. My spirit will not let me. I am drawn in to God. I am changing. I want to dive in more and more. Because despite everything, God is the only one. No answer anywhere else. Not in a bottle, not in people, not in ANYTHING. BUT. HIM. Life should be easy, not like this. But it is not. Despite that we have his love. He holds us, cradles us, like a Father does. He whispers to us that everything will be alright. I sometimes think the only reason I do these things is for Heaven and not to suffer. But despite that, I feel pulled in by my Spirit. It leads me because it knows. I know he wants me to be the person i need to be. Trust Him, even when all seems lost. If He started it, he will finish it. We know and He will have us believe. I pray for encouragement, for strength, renewing of Spirit and for you to no longer be discouraged. We all may not understand but God is always doing His will in our lives.