Life: It Happens

There are plenty of things that we want and plan in life. How does the usual plan go? We graduate high school, go to college and spend four years working on a degree deciding what we want to do, graduate again and go one to continuation school, then we meet the girl or boy f our dreams, get married, have an awesome job and live happily ever after. Right? Wrong. Four years in college turns into 5 when you fail some classes, you get rejected from that graduate school, and the boy or girl of your dreams breaks your heart. Not quite what you planned huh? So now you're sitting there, head in your hands wondering where you went wrong? Things do not go as planned. They never do. Why? It makes no sense right? It should be going all okay. Well that's true if we were on our own time. But we are on God's. We eventually get there the problem is its not the way WE want it. It was never my intention of failing an entire semester of classes except one and having to spend so much time retaking them but it happened and I didn't like it and its only now that I realize that God is control and he'll get us there to our dreams but in a different way than what we planned. We have to go through the bumpy parts in life, the refining fires that burn us, melt us and shape us as we go through them. Of course as we do we whine because its not going our way and the journey is longer than what we wanted but as we go along we learn things. Life doesn't stop once we finish everything we had planned. Life continues on it doesn't stop. Finished school? Now its time to look for work. What can;t find a job in your field. But hey you're married so that is a happily ever after right? Right up until the bills and crying pooping machines come ( referencing babies). Life isn't a cake walk. But after some tike when we get there through the journey God put us on, we'll look back when we are much more mature and understand everything that happened. It takes time and its hard and doesn't always make sense. Those are the times when we have to be careful or we'll want to give up. I've had my share of times where I have wanted to. Its not fun but in the end are we not always okay? To be honest its hard sometimes even when knowing it'll all be okay in the end. Because they way you feel during those times is never fun, but despite that we have to be strong and not give give up.

"Man Plans, God laughs."

Psalm 27:14- Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.

And this was a comment a good friend and brother in the Lord wrote in response:

I agree with what you're saying here. So many times I've made my own plans, almost as if to say to God, "Ok, here's what I'm going to do, now please bless me in this endeavor." And then I wonder why everything falls apart and why God has "abandoned" me... But after taking a step back, it becomes easy to see that it wasn't God, but me who in fact abandoned God's plan for my life by trying to take control from him and blaze my own path. This never works, and if it does somehow not end in failure, then you're not going to be as happy as you could have been and there are going to be regrets as you realize that you aren't living your life to the fullest extent as you could have if you had just given God the controls and followed his lead. Waiting on God and his guidance is so important. Too often we are so used to getting everything in life right away, immediate gratification, fast food, rush delivery, etc. Then when we take this kind of mindset and try to apply the same rules to how God works in our life, and we open ourselves up for disappointment and frustration as we find out that God's timing is not our own. All due to as Steven put it, "the pest that is this fallen world." If we can manage to remold our mindset from "Give it to me now!" (like the girl from Willy Wonka) and change it to "Ok God, I'll wait for you to lead me", we can remove some of that stress in our lives. Not to say that we still won't have stress, there will always be trials and struggle as we are refined during the process, and it hurts! That's what fire does, but the end product is well worth the wait, being glorified like Christ and living our lives for his glory. Its a matter of putting God first in our lives and being patient for his guidance in "his" timing not ours, something much easier said than done!
But I encourage you Robert, and everyone else, when life knocks you back square on your butt, don't just sit there in a daze, but get up, shake the dust off your clothes, and look back at your life, at the choices you have made, and ask God to show you why this all has happened, sometimes is painfully obvious, other times its not, but there is always a reason.
Persevere in his will, be patient in his timing, and be open to his guiding.
Ok, enough blabbing from me, this is Robert's note, not mine =P

Complete Surrender

So I made a comment before about wanting someone to love me, to help me pick up the pieces. Let me tell you that I am expecting to be whole, free, and completely happy when I am married. But I have completely missed some points. First off my fulfillment isn't coming from being married, having a wife or a perfect relationship. My fulfillment is coming from God. Let me clarify some things. I have emotional issues, I suffer form depression and other things that I can't really describe. Its a issue yes and I have been focusing on having these issues fixed in some one when I am married, when I fall and understand love. But that's not the answer, the answer is God. There is no one I can rely on but Him to fix me. Funny thing is I knew this before, realizing that if I gave everything that I was including the bad that I had to God he'd fix me but I was scared. I held onto the pain, depression and everything so long that i became a part of me. If God did fix me I have zero clue what I'd do. This over came me. So I pulled back instead of giving in, even now as I write this I feel the tug and the pull and i have no clue how to give in and let it go and consume me. So if now I can't give in as a single person, how can I when I am married? I don't think I can. I fear of course if that means "hey I'll be single for life" but I don't know if that is the case or if God will provide someone who will be a helper with me and my want to go into ministry. The want for the expectations, the wants emotionally, and everything else can't be met by someone and I'll only get disappointed in the end.

My heart and my soul, I give You control Consume me from the inside out Lord Let justice and praise, become my embrace To love You from the inside out

Hillsong United, from the inside out

Read, Consider, Do.

what if I did not have control over the content of my page?
-Instead I craft my digital life as I want it known
what if my pictures had me at my worst moments?
-Instead I am the one in front and behind the camera
what if my wall was my heart externalized for the world to see?
-Instead I post trivialities, hide deficiencies, and avoid eternal verities
what if my words spoken in secret or under-breath could not hide in this virtual world?
what if my you saw a list of my enemies?
what if my list of friends, were only those I treated as friends?

what if, my what ifs, were not what ifs?

second part

Lust pt. 2: They are watching and they’re not impressed
Now I am directing this next here to the guys because let’s face it we have some of the worst things about us. Anyway, men, let’s look at this scenario for a second. You see a very attractive woman while out one day and you decide she is worth more than a glance and begin to stare. Now stop right there and listen: switch places. Now imagine yourself in her shoes. How does it feel, to have a bunch of guys looking at you, staring at you? Silently judging you and making comments in their minds, that is no where near appropriate. How does it feel? Not very good I would imagine. Let’s switch back now. How do you feel as a man, a man of God I should remind you, who is looking at his creation, your sister I might add like that. Not as appealing is it now is it? The worst part is the world is okay with us doing this and approves wholeheartedly. I’m reminded of something that my new testament Professor told us. To me it was a sort of reprimanding. He had said to the women of the class that “any man who cannot keep his eyes focused and doesn’t let them wander doesn’t deserve your time”. Now at first you may be like “well there are people everyone and my attention span shrinks”. Well that would work if that were what he was talking about. That’s right guys if you cannot stay focused on her eyes she will see you as not worth her time. Also don’t think you are getting away with it, you’re not. Women notice, and they are not impressed by our “subtlety”. We’ve been caught red handed. Now ask yourself how many women have you done this too? Now imagine if they all knew what you wee so subtly doing but never called you on it. How their opinion of you must be! Luckily we have a great mentor on our side: Jesus Christ

First part

Okay so before we begin there are a few things to go over. First off much of this comes from Joshua Harris’ book, “I Kissed Dating Good-Bye” which is really an incredible book, and is (if you interested) in the library and I also have a copy as well though it will be on loan until further notice. Personally I want to give most of the credit to him since if I didn’t read it I’d never thought of writing on what I am going to write on. Second I give the most credit and Glory to God for inspiring me to write and what to write. Don’t give me praise or applause I just wrote it, but wouldn’t have without either element, the most important being God. I would also like to give credit and thanks to Mary Ann for giving me the book, which led to me reading which, God used for me to write this. I don’t target singles. I don’t target couples. I don’t target those who are married, getting married or just sitting in their room contemplating what it’s all about. I write for whoever will read. So please read and hopefully enjoy. If you have comments, concerns, suggestions or challenges to pistols at dawn there is a neat little comment box on the bottom so please feel free to write what you will and be brutally honest please. Also I apologize in advance for offending anyone. Also I have broken this into many segments so there will be many parts of this note coming so be prepared. If there is anything else please feel free to tell me if I missed anything. Thank you.
Lust: Steps to destruction and running to freedom
Right off the bat we go into something that everyone deals with: Lust. Let me start by saying I am not being judgmental on anyone, because I am just as guilty as the next guy or girl who has had lusted and don’t count myself out. It’s a struggle that everyone has an issue with lust though men are more focused on when it comes to lust but that doesn’t disqualify women. There is a part in the book that discussed lust, temptation and where it starts and to convey this point they use one of the most prominent figures in the Bible: King David. This was a man after God’s own heart and who despite this went on to become an adulterer and murderer. Worst of all this wasn’t done in one leap but several steps that led David to this point in his life. Now you may ask yourself where this all started going downhill for David right? Could it be when he saw her, when he brought her over and slept with her, when he had first kissed her? Or could it have been when most kings were with their armies this time of the year and he wasn’t? Lust, temptation, its all a process and it begins with a decision we make. Sometimes a situation arises or we put ourselves there in a situation. Harris describes it beginning with David setting himself up, starting with him choosing to stay behind and not go with his army, leading him to be pacing on the roof and looking across and seeing her. David saw her, just a glance at first. A glance turned into a stare, a stare into a thought, a thought into wanting and bingo he was trapped and was taking steps rapidly to his ruin. The story of David shows us how fast a person can just descend down by taking steps and it seems almost hopeless for us but there is another person in the Old Testament we can look to: Joseph. We all remember the story of Joseph, the boy sold by his own brothers into slavery eventually coming to the house of an important Egyptian. It what happens here that is the subject of our attention.

Now Joseph was well-built and handsome, 7 and after a while his master's wife took notice of Joseph and said, "Come to bed with me!"
8 But he refused. "With me in charge," he told her, "my master does not concern himself with anything in the house; everything he owns he has entrusted to my care. 9 No one is greater in this house than I am. My master has withheld nothing from me except you, because you are his wife. How then could I do such a wicked thing and sin against God?" 10 And though she spoke to Joseph day after day, he refused to go to bed with her or even be with her.
11 One day he went into the house to attend to his duties, and none of the household servants was inside. 12 She caught him by his cloak and said, "Come to bed with me!" But he left his cloak in her hand and ran out of the house.
Genesis 39:6-12
Now I don’t know this for a fact but I could imagine that Joseph’s boss’ wife was probably very beautiful and despite that what did Joseph do? That boy ran like there was no tomorrow, even leaving behind his own clothes when she grabbed at him. I think we should take both examples to heart though despite the difference in circumstances. David eventually repented but not before suffering for what he had done and he still served God and Joseph ran in the face of temptation. Joseph could have gotten away with it, the wife was approaching him, no one would know. But Joseph knew that God would know and that God didn’t want him to do such a thing. Joseph chose the right steps and even though David at first didn’t he did fix his steps eventually. We should take lessons form David and Joseph to prevent ourselves from stepping into sin, temptation and lust. Stop and think about how often have you said to yourself “I should have known better”, or “now that I look back I could have stopped myself”. It happens to everyone. Happened to me more times than I can count but we should learn form what happens and change before it too late. We need a repenting heart. So clip lust before it can spring up into something more. Because I don’t care what it is, but look away! Now I am not saying its easy, by no means is it, it takes time, patience, obedience and most of all God.

Its who you know

I noticed something a few weeks ago. In the midst of one of my hours of depression and self-loathing I realized something. As I sat and wondered what everyone else was doing as I was bored I felt depressed for the fact that I felt alone. Then I realized something. I rely on people far too much and not enough on God. Why? Well I found that it was more so that I interact with people on a daily basis and have been my whole life. Well don't I interact with God on a daily basis too? Well whom do we see, become emotionally attached to and focus our time, energy and emotions on most of the time? People. Day in and day out, but then how much do we give to God? There's church on Sunday, chapels at our schools if we have them there, there's Wednesday night church, and any ministry we're involved in. So what's wrong then with us if we do we all of this and yet it seems we put all our person in people. Some may make the case that yes, we do spend our time face to face with people all day and that people surround us daily. So better interaction on a physical level with people? Okay but isn't God always with us? I mean literally with us. In our sleeping, when we're awake, standing in line for food, when watching a movie etc. So what is the difference? What's more how often has God hurt you compared to people? God hasn't told you "It's not you its me" and left or told you about how sorry He was he did that to you and that it'll never happen again or that that person meant nothing to them and it was all a mistake. People do though. How often do we strive to get a persons attention just to be able to date them and have a relationship when Christ has a love deeper than any one person can give us. How often do we go out of our way to do something for a friend that means so much to us we'll do anything at the drop of a pin but when Christ asks us we give any and every excuse in the book to get out of it? What is it about us? I fear because I know more of people than I do about God, my creator. I have spent so much effort, time, tears and pain for people but how much for God? Put it on some scales and weigh it, see what it comes to. Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with that for people, but do we give the same attention of ourselves, basically our being to God? So what do we do? Spend more time in the word, go to church so much we live there, or forsake people and live in solitude devoting our day to God? To be honest I don't know. I don't have an answer. If I did it'd be my answer not yours, right?

No Pain No Gain: Suffering in Faith

You and i have all heard the expression "no pain no gain" right? Have you ever sat down and considered if this was true? What did you gain when you went through pain? Did you learn perseverance, who you can and cannot depend on? What did you learn? Well recently in my New testament class, we discussed about a passage in James which discusses about suffering for "a season". Well as my professor nicely noted to us about what that season meant. The. rest. Of. Our. Lives. Until we die of course. Then we are free. Truthfully, I'm scared, in the uncertainty of dying. How will it happen, will i suffer, can I get a smile, or a few words out or even some time to go over memories before I go? These plague my head. But despite that I live in faith. I don't want to die, I don't wan tot suffer. No one does. But then now i look back and I consider what Christ, my Lord said: Then he said to them all:

"If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. ²⁴For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it. ²⁵What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit his very self?(Matthew 9:23-25)

Yep I decided to pick up my cross and follow Him, and Jesus even warned that there would be "wolves in sheep clothing", and that we'd be "lambs going to the slaughter", and that basically we'd suffer. Sounds great right? I mean at least people would come to us to listen. What's that? they stone us and throw us out of their temples into the street? Well I mean they must obviously see that what we say makes sense right? What they laugh at us? Huh great sounds fun. I am coming to terms with the fact i will suffer, and the meaning of Christ's words that he spoke. I will suffer. So now what? I'm scared. Okay. So what? Turn tail and run? I want to sure, I'm human but what happens? I said I would take up my cross, and follow him, and he'd even said that it wouldn't be easy so why should I be so surprised? I don't think I knew, or just underestimated and didn't take seriously what was said. But when I decided to shoulder my cross I was redya nd willing so much I made what one martyr had said a sort of prayer or dedication for myself to God:

"Lord I am your messenger. Throw me like a blazing torch into the night"-Mary Skobtsova

As I am writing this my heart is spoken to by Christ and I think of the previous words of Him I mentioned: "Take up your cross" I think of Christ speaking of the cross. I mean Jesus was telling us to take up our own cross and follow Him. The very tool of His death that was coming but its not only that. Many of us see the cross as a reminder of our Lord but the cross does not only represent death. Transformation, redeeming grace, and love, these are what the cross represent. <sup>Jesus knew this, that the cross would not always represent death but something else.

20</sup>I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. Galatians 2:20

So I decided to take up my cross. Then I did not understand what I was doing as I prayed for Christ to take me, guide me as I take up my cross. To die to myself, to love Him more than I love even my family, or my friends. I don't do it for myself. No matter how much I think "Yes! Heaven is on its way! I won't suffer, I can praise God for eternity!", I always have the pull in my heart to go out and complete the job my Lord gave my Apostolic Fathers (though originally I desired to say Brothers to portray a more personal relationship with the Apostles and Disciples but I and my friend who I had seeked knowledge from were ignorant in it so as to keep respect I had defaulted to calling them my Fathers) oh so long ago:

¹⁶Then the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus had told them to go. ¹⁷When they saw him, they worshiped him; but some doubted. ¹⁸Then Jesus came to them and said, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. ¹⁹Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, ²⁰and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."- Matthew 28:16-20

So what? I suppose I will suffer in my life but even now my heart is grieved that i focus so much on this suffering instead of what I'm supposed to be doing! I suppose I'll understand more as I grow older, as God guides me more, and as I submit more to Christ's will in my life. So as I sit here I noticed this took a complete turn from where it was going and I don't remember where I was going but i think it was a good turn from talking about suffering to talking about doing what is required of me. I do and I do it with a smile and an excitement in my heart. I recommend a book that was given to me by a friend's mother for Christmas, the name of the book being JESUS FREAKS: REVOLUTIONARIES. It is a book containing the stories of martyrs and how even in suffering their faith was not deterred, their affect, and I suppose for a lack of a better word (unless someone may please provide me with one) the lesson or moral learned through the experiences. I have not finished the book but have gone through a rapid succession of pages when I first received it. It though, in fact the sequel to another book entitled MARTYRS. The copy I own of Revolutionaries is a really good book and I do recommend it though it may or may not be your cup of tea. In this writing I want to make something clear. I don't, and do not want to do these things for myself but for God's glory. I don't want to say "Lord give me strength to let me do this" but rather "Lord give me strength so I can do this for you!" I want to rid the selfish feeling for myself and live in the selfless feelings for Christ, I want to die to myself. Not so much becoming spiritually mature but submitting to God's will (this is how my professor of New Testament had put it). Hm. So i suppose the answers are in God, so submitting more gave answers (though simply finding answers should not be the motivation for this but more that we desire it for God's will to be done). So what? We suffer. If I did not suffer would I have known any of this today that I have written? Should I complain as there are those currently suffering, or have died while suffering in agony? I've learned from my suffering. How often do we learn from the good things? Besides if there is anything I can say its this: most of my suffering, guess what? It was my fault! Sure some of it was out of my hands and that I wanted to blame God but that right there shows me that I can't always fix things and that I want to do it my self. But its God's will not my own. So suffering has its benefits and even though we may never accept suffering, and maybe not even fully, God has his purpose, his reasons. So I need to put my faith in God and continue on.